A Live Sound Engineer's Hate List thanx to live magazin

15 Pet Peeves

1) Lighting guys
2) Two minute set changes
3) 200 Volts
4) Elevators or stairs load-ins
5) 18 acts, 30 timbales, 12 hours
6) Volunteer stage hands
7) People who sit in front of the PA and then complain that it's too loud
8) Sound companies that don't zero out the console before you use it and still has the tape from the last show on your inputs
9) Companies that say, "Oh yeah, we have a 40-channel console.", and when you show up, it's two 20-channel consoles slaved together
10) From the sound company, "We've got all the best stuff! I don't know why it sounds like this... it always sounds great to me!"
11) Mixing monitors from FOH
12) System engineers that try to "help" you mix the show
13) Companies that bring out inadequate gear because they bid too low to get the gig
14) Mix positions in stupid locations
15) Being short of channels because the headliner won't let you use them and there's no additional console for the opening act.

 

12 Stupid Sayings From The Audience

1) "What would happen if I did this?" (With simulation of twisting knobs on console)
2) "That would look great in my living room!"
3) "Do you know what ALL those knobs do?"
4) "Are you the DJ"?
5) "Where is the talent knob?"
6) "Can I keep my coat back there?"

 

7) "I can't hear the vocals." (From the people in front of the stage)
8) "Do you get to the meet the band?"
9) "What does THIS do?"... as the audience member leans over the board
10) "Can't you count any higher than two?"
11) "What would you do if I touched this?"
12) "It's too loud!" (While sitting in front of the PA)

Famous Last Words

1) "Oh, you mean you got THAT rider?"
2) "You're at the wrong stage" (Said by the promoter after the entire system is set up.)
3) "Oh sure, you'll get T-shirts at the end of the gig."
4) "Of course the monitors sound just like the house mix."
5) "I'll fix it before the next gig."